A Tribute to my father

“This is a letter I wrote last year to my late father and posted on my facebook account, and I believe it should be published here as well, this goes to all of those out there who lost a beloved one, and it goes to all our beloved ones”

“Three more days to my father first year memorial, not that I’m feeling differently about it, but I think it takes one a long time to over come such an event.

Of course this is not a post of nonsense talk or sentimental crap, not at all, it’s meant to be away to keep a promise I once made, a promise of remembrance and loyalty to my late beloved father, my mentor and my hero”

Dear Father:

Soon it will be a year since your departure from our lively physical world, as much as you have tried your best to prepare us for a day as such, telling us that death is a fact of life, that sooner or later we will have to deal with this fact and just learn to move on, never once did it occur to our little minds that this would apply, and indeed nothing prepared us for the pain and agony we have felt ever since.

Dear Father,

I for once did not learn to move on, I learnt that life moves on Whether you like it or not, thus you’ll just have to be a part of it Whether you like it or not.

Almost a year has passed ,,, a year full of events, some happy and some just not as much, yet none seemed to leave any memory or even go as for as initiating a reaction, things have radically changed, the house is no longer a home without your resonating voice or your practical jokes, the library is dusty and is turning into a scene to see rather than a utility to be used, there are no piles of books or sheets of scrap paper all over the guest room for mom to complain about, even the phone has been calm ever since you left.

My Beloved Dad,

It’s a shame it took me your death to finally realize you, it’s a shame that never once I showed my gratitude to you or to god for having you. and since there would be no other chance or way to do so, I will just keep hoping that the words I wrote and the ones I will write do reach you where ever you are.

I’m grateful for having spent 24 years of my life having you, even if I felt I wanted more, I’m grateful for my times of childhood I was tagged for being daddy’s little girl, even if it ended up with a generations clash, I’m grateful I got to learn a lot from your wisdom, even if I still needed to learn more, I’m also grateful for your painless quick passing, even if it was shocking, and above all I’m grateful for being there when you left, even if it meant many sleepless nights afterwards.

Dad,

This gratitude associates pain, and associates a certain feeling of nostalgia, I really miss you mocking me for things I didn’t know, I miss having you as my prank body when we used to annoy the hell out of mom, I miss my fights and quarrels with you over Darwin’s theory of evolution, I miss getting you a cup of water just before you sleep in case you woke up because of a stupid asthma attack, I miss your rationality and compassion, I miss our little walks in the yard pretending to have a picnic, Dad I miss you.

I know I’d be speaking on behalf of all of us when I say, as much as you have been our beloved father, you were also our mentor and guide, our friend, our consultant and advisor, and some times our subject of jokes and/or practical jokes, and since we all know what you have been through since your early childhood to the last days of your life, from having to undergo a surgery without Anastasia to being subpoenaed for political activity, you have been and still are our true hero, our role model.

May your soul rest in peace where ever you are, and may we all be exactly as you want us to be of course with some mistakes here and then, because we all know no body’s perfect, even Ameen Thiab’s off springs